Birthday gift to self

Cupcakes to celebrate

Cupcakes to celebrate

I’ve always enjoyed planning soirees, surprise birthday parties for friends and coordinating any event from start to finish. However, when it comes to my own birthday I just wish I could disappear, not answer calls, not meet anyone and not have folks fuss about my birthday.

I recently managed to survive this day on May 17, and I’ve realized its not just the day but the week leading to my birthday and I get all wound up. Calling me short tempered will be an understatement and I’m like a woman ready to axe down anything that comes in my way! This year I came down with a flu so bad that I could hardly talk! Sadly, it’s been a few years since I’ve truly enjoyed my birthday with friends or family who I’d  really like to be with. So, here are some of the things I wish I could do instead:

1. Spend time with my dad (who passed away when I was 25). Would love to hear him or talk to him and say things I did’nt when I could have coz I was too busy doing other not so important things. That way I am blessed to have my mom with me on my birthday since her d-day is on May 15 and I make it a point to be with her no matter what.

2. Go off on a holiday to a place which has a lot of snow – I was blessed to celebrate it once in the Himalayas when I was 9. It was beautiful to be surrounded by snow capped mountains while cutting my birthday cake.

3. Take a meditative holiday to the Ananda Spa in Himalayas

4. Not hear from people who call for the sake of calling. Feel like telling them ‘i’m better off not hearing from you at all so please save both of us the trouble’ !

5. Disappear

Sometimes I feel its just the need to tell these people to stay away from me forever so I can move on with life and really start enjoying the things that I’ve always loved doing. These people who sap the energy out of anything I’ve wanted in life – are just there coz they need to be tolerated for someone else’s sake – I would not miss a thing if I dont meet them or see them or talk to them!

But the other line of thought I feel I need to explore is the art of ‘ignoring’. If they irritate me its my problem not theirs.If they are successful in getting to me its only because I let them,so I need to learn to let them be and tolerate them for the few hours I have to meet them once every few weeks and forget about them the other times. Its going to take a lot of practice and perseverance but its a path worth exploring . A gift I’ve promised to give my self this year for my birthday.